


fate or something else

by margoB



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, and i got the idea of an aiport au stuck in my head, basically i love them, so here we go again, soft and sweet, this is so soft you have no idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29048301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margoB/pseuds/margoB
Summary: Toni doesn't ask for much. She wants to go home. She wants to get some sleep. Unfortunately, a snowstorm raging over Chicago and grounding all flights out of the O'hare airport means otherwise. But, when a certain blonde shows up needing to borrow a charger, maybe things don't seem so bad after all.Or, Toni and Shelby meet in the Chicago airport on New Year's Eve and some things just work.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 28
Kudos: 443





	1. toni finds company in a lonely airport

A snowstorm. That was how it started. 

All Toni wanted was to catch her connecting flight back to San Francisco, it was really simple, but a fucking snowstorm sweeping across the midwest meant all flights out of Chicago were grounded. 

She sighed, staring at the flight board, as if by sheer will alone she could change the word next to her flight number from  _ cancelled _ to  _ on time _ . She would’ve even taken  _ delayed _ at this point. 

It didn’t seem to matter though. 

Any and all stragglers were essentially stuck in O’hare, the staff advising that everyone take refuge in the airport until it was deemed safe to leave, or until flights resumed. They promised to provide updates as they came, but Toni wasn’t really holding out hope.

No, anyone who got stranded in an airport on New Year’s Eve had probably done something fucked up in a past life to deserve it. 

And Toni couldn’t even be that surprised at her past self if she was honest. 

It wasn’t like she had big plans back home for the transition into the new year. She had just been planning on going to a friend’s house, maybe watch a movie, drink a little, the works. 

Simple. 

Toni liked simple.

So sure, she wasn’t exactly missing out, but still. That didn’t mean she  _ didn’t _ want to be home. It had been a long year. Starting the next in the Chicago airport wasn’t ideal.

The breakup had been months ago, so while it wasn’t an open wound anymore, it still wore on Toni’s shoulders a bit. Especially because it was the holidays. When you didn’t have anyone to be festive with, the season was bound to feel a little lonelier. 

Except that wasn’t totally true, Toni supposed. She had just spent Christmas with the Blackburns out east, and that had been sort of perfect. Seeing Martha and her folks was exactly what Toni had needed. They were family. But of course, it didn’t take long for Toni to worry about overstaying her welcome there. So despite their insistence that she should stay, Toni had said she needed to get back to work some overtime. 

It wasn’t true, Toni didn’t need to return to work until a few days after the new year, but they didn’t need to know that. They had already done too much for her. 

And it’s possible that they knew but were just too kind to say anything. Martha didn’t push Toni past her limits. Not on certain things. And when Toni needed to be alone, she needed to be alone. It had become her safety. It was easier to be lonely, to really give into that feeling, when you didn’t have to worry about masking it for other people. 

Toni checked her watch. 9:27 PM.

Fuck. All of the restaurants and cafes were already closed. There wasn’t really anything to do but find a place to hunker down for the night, find ways to pass the time, and sleep if it was possible.

She wasn’t too hopeful about that last one. Toni had always had trouble sleeping, even when she was younger. If she had to guess, the issue took root in the constant moving around that came with being a foster kid. Nowhere had ever felt like home, and usually she wasn’t in a certain foster house long enough to get used to the sounds and the shadows that made themselves known at night. 

At some point, it had just stuck. Toni got used to the exhaustion. The dark circles under her eyes, the coffee habit. Even when she had someone to share the bed with, most recently her ex, she would find herself awake long after Sarah had fallen asleep. In a way it was peaceful, having time to herself while still being next to someone she cared for dearly. 

But mostly Toni was just tired. And maybe she had been tired for a long time now. 

With one last look at the board, Toni grabbed her duffel bag and set off in search of somewhere quiet to spend the evening. 

+++

As it turned out, it wasn’t actually very difficult to find empty space in an airport on New Year’s Eve. Most of the gates only had a handful of people in them, spread out amongst the seats so as not to crowd the others, like there was some unspoken agreement that even though they were all in the same boat here, even though everyone was probably none too happy about being stuck, each individual still wanted to suffer alone. 

It was fair enough. Toni was mostly the same. 

Toni walked leisurely past gate after gate after gate, the monotony of each one almost soothing. The grey carpets unchanging, the connecting seats waiting for passengers that wouldn’t come, the dark desks where the agents usually sat acting as a harsh and empty reminder that whoever was here was here for the night. No planes were boarding. No one would be making it home.

There were several people talking on their phones in hushed voices, probably explaining to loved ones that a snowstorm was holding them hostage here. That they would much rather be there, with their kids, wives, husbands, lovers, whoever. 

At least Toni didn’t have to make a call. At least there was that.

Eventually, Toni found herself at gate 21. It was the one she would’ve boarded her flight from, and in a way, it felt appropriate. In a few hours, the year would change to that very number. It was funny how things worked out like that sometimes. 

A coincidence. Transitioning into 2021 at gate 21 because a snowstorm had decided to defy all weather predictions, like it had some job to do, like Toni was meant to be here. 

But no. That wasn’t the way Toni saw the world. If fate was a thing, if every single moment happened for a reason, then she had been screwed over too many times by it. 

It was easier to believe that things just happened. All the time. Just because. One thing after another. If fate was real, Toni would have one more reason to be angry, and she didn’t want to be angry anymore. 

Toni picked a spot in the back corner of the gate because the light wasn’t as harsh, and she could keep her back to the wall and have a view out of the large windows to her right at the same time, watching the snow come down fast and hard, blanketing the ground below. 

It came down without regard for anything else in existence, effectively stopping the movement of the world, or, that’s what it felt like. The storm only spanned a small part of the midwest, but somehow Toni had the sensation that for the time being, this was it. This was life as anyone knew it. It began here and ended here but most of all it took some miraculous journey in between.

And it was sort of beautiful, but she didn’t really get why. It just was. 

Setting her bag on the seat next to her, Toni took her phone out of her pocket. Even though she didn’t have to make an apologetic call to anyone, she should still let Fatin know that she wouldn’t be making it tonight, so she sent off a quick text and checked the time again. 9:43. 

Time was weird. Was it purposefully passing slower? Dragging out the minutes of this silent night in an effort to make Toni live in the present? Was it working a little bit? 

Nope, no. It didn’t work like that.

Time didn’t have purpose. It didn’t act with intent. It was another thing that just happened. Like everything in the universe. One thing and then the next and sometimes events overlapped and bumped into each other, or one thing led to another and all of a sudden--

“Hey, I’m so sorry to bother you, but do you happen to have a phone charger?” 

There was a girl. She was blonde and pretty and close enough that Toni could see a dusting of freckles across her nose. 

And then Toni looked into her eyes.

Wow. 

Green and deep and inviting and right in front of Toni, right there, in a lonely airport on New Year’s Eve, a girl was right in front of Toni and she needed a charger and she was smiling with her head tilted in just such a way that made Toni feel like they had met before somehow. 

She knew they hadn’t, not actually, but it felt like it. 

Funny how things worked sometimes. 

Completely random. 

Things happened all the time and it was random and there was a girl and she had asked Toni something and Toni was supposed to respond because that’s what you did when a pretty girl with freckles and green eyes asked you a question but.

What the fuck had she asked?

“Um. Sorry. Could you repeat that?” Toni stammered, cheeks hot. 

The girl chuckled, putting Toni at ease. “I was just wondering if you had a charger I could borrow? My phone died, but I need to let my roommate know I’m not gonna make it home because of…y’know.” She nodded her head to the window, where the snow was coming down so thick it was getting harder and harder to see out of it.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Toni unzipped her bag and dug around in one of the side pockets until she found her charger, and when she handed it to the girl, their fingers brushed together, sending tingles up Toni’s arm and through her body until they settled in her stomach. 

Butterflies. She hadn’t had those in a while. 

“Thank you so much. I’m Shelby, by the way,” and when she smiled it was a little crooked, one corner of her mouth pulling higher than the other. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Shelby. I’m Toni.” Toni was surprised to find she was telling the truth. The interaction hadn’t lasted long, but it was something to remind Toni that she wasn’t alone here. Shelby may have been a stranger, but she was going through the same thing. She was experiencing this surreal microcosm, too. 

They were both here, caught in a random storm, alone but together. Toni supposed the same went for whoever else was stuck in the airport. Alone but together. Not ideal, but surely there was worse. 

Huh. Looking on the bright side. Who would’ve thought? 

“It’s real nice to meet you too. And thank you again for the charger. I’ll just be right over there by the desk if you need it back.” With one last nod at Toni, Shelby returned to her spot near a pillar that must’ve had an outlet at its base, because she sat down on the floor and disappeared from view. 

Reaching in her bag again, Toni pulled out the book she had brought for the plane ride. Not many things could put her to sleep, but sometimes if she read long enough, eventually she could nod off. That was all she wanted tonight. If she wasn’t going to make it home, she just wanted to sleep. 

The book was about constellations and the myths that created them. Toni had had it since she was a kid, having read it more times than she could remember. In fact, she could probably tell the stories verbatim now, without even looking. But it brought her comfort to go over them, to think that the same stars that she saw in the sky every night had been there for thousands of years, longer even. Millions. They were always there. Even when she wasn’t looking. Even when they were hidden from view. 

Toni realized that her eyes had drifted from the pages in her lap to the window. The snow was coming down too heavily to see much else. The stars weren’t visible. But that was okay. 

Instead, Toni closed her eyes and pictured a few of her favorites. 

It was a little mainstream, if stars could be such a thing, but Toni was most fond of Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. There were many versions of the legend, but the one she preferred was the Greek version from her book. 

It told the story of how Zeus fell deeply in love with Callisto, a nymph, and they had a son together named Arcas. But Hera, Zeus’s wife, found out and grew jealous, so as revenge she turned Callisto into a bear while she and Zeus were in the forest one day. Years later, when Arcas was a little older, he ventured into the forest to hunt and came across the bear. Callisto was overjoyed at seeing her child after so long and came towards him, arms outstretched for an embrace. Unfortunately, Arcas was scared at the bear coming closer so he raised his spear to strike. 

Watching all of this happen, Zeus stepped in and saved Callisto by stopping Arcas and sending both of them into the heavens. Arcas, finding out that the bear was his mother, turned toward her in the sky, to watch over her and protect her forever, which was why Ursa Minor, the little dipper, was curved towards Ursa Major. 

Toni liked that image. Child and mother together again. 

When she was younger, she wondered all the time if Arcas had missed Callisto while she was away, not knowing where she was, if she left him behind. If, despite being stolen from the mortal world, it was somewhat of a relief to be able to see her again, to be able to watch over her this time, to keep her safe from the bad gods out there. 

Hearing a shuffle next to her, Toni opened her eyes and saw Shelby had returned. 

“Oh, hi again. Sorry, did I wake you?” 

Toni cleared her throat, still shaking off her musings of the stars. “Nah, I kind of always have trouble sleeping, actually. Especially sitting up in a chair like this.” Why had she said that? Shelby asked a simple question, all Toni had to do was say no. Wanting to skirt past the overshare, Toni asked, “Did the charger work okay?”

Shelby had tilted her head while Toni was speaking, listening intently. It was almost unnerving, her gaze, but the concerned expression was sort of cute. “Actually, none of the outlets over there were working, so I was wondering if it’s okay if I sit here and try this last one.” And she gestured to a plug in the wall to Toni’s right, next to the row of chairs against the window. 

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

“Cool,” Shelby said, sitting down diagonally from Toni and placing her bag on the next seat over. After plugging her phone in, she spoke up again. “So were you heading somewhere or heading home when all this happened?”

“Heading home. This was supposed to be my gate, funnily enough. What about you?”

“Neither.” Shelby smiled at what must have been a confused look on Toni’s face. “I actually work here in the airport. I’m a server at Lori’s Bar & Grill.” 

That explained the all-black outfit, which didn’t really seem to fit Shelby’s open and friendly personality so much.

“I’m sorry you got stuck here,” Toni said softly.

“Me too. Or, you too? I never know which one it is.”

Toni liked the way Shelby talked with her hands and smiled easily and didn’t seem to overthink any of the words that fell from her lips. She felt brand new in a way Toni didn’t quite understand, like maybe Toni hadn’t ever met anyone like her before.

“Did you have big plans for tonight?” Toni wasn’t usually much of a talker, but right now? She wanted to be. She would try. If Shelby was open to it, Toni would try.

“No, not really. Truthfully, I’ve never been much of a New Year’s gal. Not that I don’t like a little fun, definitely not that,” she said with a quirk of her brow. “But there’s something about tonight that just adds so much more pressure to have a good time. Bring in the New Year with a bang or something, y’know?” 

Again, it was clear that Shelby had no problem when it came to people. Being around them and talking and interacting. Her eye contact was constant, and in effect, Toni was having trouble concentrating. She could feel herself wanting to fidget in the seat, to tap her fingers or bounce her leg. It was a bad habit of hers, especially when she was nervous.

And Shelby made her a little nervous. But not in a bad way.

No. Not bad at all. 

“Yeah,” Toni said. “I’m kind of the same. I’m already not that great at socializing so any added pressure is bound to make it that much worse.”

Shelby lips curved at one corner, almost teasing. “Well, I think you’re doin’ just fine. With the socializing.” 

Scratch that. Definitely teasing. 

Toni waved her off. “Please. You ain’t seen nothing yet. It’ll only get worse from here.”

When Shelby laughed, it seemed genuine. Toni wanted to see her do it again and again. Wanted to be the cause of the light that seemed to radiate off her in waves whenever it happened. The airport was warmer because of it, the storm less pressing. Tucking them into a warm bed instead of burying them six feet under. 

“Are you from around here?” Toni asked, detecting traces of a drawl, faded, but her vowels dipped in just such a way.

“Texas originally, but I went to college here.” She bit her lip, then, “Did you hear my accent? It’s not as strong anymore, but what do they say? You can take the girl out of Texas but can’t take Texas out of the girl?”

“Do they say that?” Toni said with a glint in her eye. 

And she wasn’t exactly sure how, but she was pretty sure Shelby was doing something to make this easier on her. Granted, she wasn’t sure what  _ this  _ was, but that’s how it felt. Less like pulling teeth and more like a conversation, which she supposed it was. 

Again, she was struck with a familiarity. Like this girl with the green eyes and the freckles and the easy smile had been around before, and the storm decided they should meet again. 

“They do. I have no idea who  _ they _ are, but yes, they do,” Shelby said, laughing. “Anyway, I haven’t been back there in years, so it’s bound to disappear eventually. I don’t think I’d mind too much if it did.”

It was the first time Shelby had looked a little more forlorn. Not obviously so, but Toni could see it in the slight slump of her shoulders, the way her chin tilted down. 

Toni didn’t want to pry, but she wanted to offer comfort if she could. “Bad blood there?”

“Yeah, literally. Family stuff.” Shelby sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and Toni couldn’t help but follow the movement. “It’s been so long since it all went sour, but sometimes the wounds still feel fresh.”

Toni thought about Arcas. Wondering where his mother was for all those years. If she left him on purpose. If she knew that without her, there was no one to care for him, that he would always feel alone in some heart-wrenching way. That the loneliness would turn to liquid in the night, flowing through his veins like poison, keeping him awake. 

“I understand that. Scars don’t always heal cleanly. But they do heal, I think.”

Shelby hummed and took Toni in. “I like that. I’m gonna steal that, if you don’t mind.”

Toni laughed, “It’s all yours, colonizer.”

Instantly the smile dropped from Shelby’s mouth and she put her hands up as if to apologize but Toni jumped in before she could. “Sorry,” Toni explained, unable to stop laughing at the look on Shelby’s face. “I was totally joking. I just--I guess I just forgot for a second.”

“Forgot what?” Shelby asked.

And it was only then that Toni realized what she had said. “Um. Forgot that we don’t really know each other. Or that we haven’t known each other long.”

And Shelby just looked at Toni. Like she was worth looking at. Like it was a simple thing, to be here, together, taking shelter from the storm. 

“I guess we’ve got all night to change that, huh?”


	2. when stars align, why wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whatever the forces behind it, toni and shelby just work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the next chap! to those who commented on the last one, thank you so much! it means the world AND inspired me to get this done (despite the homework i have building up lol) 
> 
> reader beware, this shit gets softer somehow

Shelby and Toni continued talking easily, about the little things mostly, but when she thought about it, Toni realized it was just a whole lot of small things that made up a person. And sometimes it was the small things that mattered most. 

She learned that Shelby used to do pageants, and had won a bunch of them too. That in her bedroom growing up, the crowns had lined the shelves and the sashes hung on the back of her door. She learned that Shelby put them there but not because she wanted to. More because she felt like she had to. It was some kind of reminder that if she worked hard at the way she presented herself, she could win. She could be perfect. 

And after saying it all, Shelby shook her head, like the memories were from another life. Like it wasn’t who she was anymore, and maybe it never was. 

Toni told Shelby about growing up in Minnesota, that she had several homes but none of them had actually felt like home. She told Shelby that she used to play basketball, and she had been captain of the team, but she wasn’t always a good one because her temper often got the better of her. That it controlled her for a long time. Would probably control her still if she hadn’t realized it wouldn’t get her anywhere but a world of hurt. 

And it couldn’t protect the people she cared about. It would just hurt them too.

Sometime during that story, Toni’s bag had moved to the carpeted floor and Shelby had taken its place next to her, turned sideways, eyes burning into Toni’s in the moments when Toni had the courage to return the gaze. 

Toni could feel the warmth coming from Shelby’s presence. It loosened her tight muscles, eased the soreness in her aching bones. It got easier to meet her eyes. Realizing that however intense, they were twice as kind. Maybe more. 

Shelby talked about how after the last time she had visited her parents, once she returned to college, she had taken a pair of dull scissors from her roommates pencil case and cut off almost a foot of hair into the bathroom sink. She smiled about it now, recalling how uneven it was, how choppy and messy and unfitting it looked on her. But even then, she hadn’t felt like it was a mistake. 

It had felt like freedom. 

Possibly for the first time. 

Her roommate had to fix it in the morning as best she could, which ended up a surprisingly decent effort, but Shelby wouldn’t have cared regardless. What had started as an impulse, a need to be rid of this  _ thing _ that reminded her of home, turned into something good. Her head had felt lighter on her shoulders.

And hair grew back. New and fresh and untouched by whatever had come before. 

Without even thinking about what it meant, Toni rubbed the back of her neck and said that Shelby would look great with any haircut. That being happy with it was all that mattered, of course, but for what it was worth, she looked great. Better than great. Amazing. 

It was the first time Toni saw Shelby blush, though she couldn’t be sure if it was just from secondhand embarrassment at her own stuttered words. Still. Shelby’s cheeks had pinked and if Toni didn’t know better, she might think she was falling just a little bit. 

Then, Toni told Shelby about the time she had found a dog that had wandered onto the reservation. Alone and hungry and wanting. 

For weeks, Toni saved portions of her food from the foster home she was in at the time, bringing them to the dog after everyone else had fallen asleep. 

She had called the dog Arcas because, well, it just seemed right. And when Shelby asked why, Toni found herself explaining her favorite myth. The one that stayed with her, the one she thought about when she couldn’t sleep.

All the while, Shelby just listened, oh so carefully, with her elbow propped on the back of her seat and her head resting in her hand. And when Toni got to the part where Arcas and his mother were thrown into the sky, together at last, she couldn’t help but add some of her own commentary. How it was sad that they didn’t have more time together on earth but that up there in the sky, night after night, they could finally rest. Callisto knowing her child was safe. Arcas knowing his mother was okay, protected.

Home.

At that, Shelby reached out a hand, resting it on Toni’s knee. Rubbing her thumb just once over the material of Toni’s pants before pulling back. But the sensation lingered. Warm and hot and burning and soothing all at once. 

Maybe Shelby could tell Toni was a little overwhelmed, a little unused to such careful consideration of the space she took up, because her next story was lighter. Balancing.

In fact, Shelby’s whole being, her voice and words and warmth, seemed to bring balance to Toni. And Toni wasn’t sure, couldn’t be sure, really, but it felt like something from her own body reached out to Shelby, too. Wrapping around the parts of her that ached for relief. Holding her in hands that, despite the cuts and bruises and scars only semi-faded away, knew how to be gentle.

Shelby talked about her high school boyfriend, laughing her way through most of what she had to say about him. He hadn’t understood her. Hadn’t even tried. 

He laughed at things that weren’t funny and his hands were always sweaty (but not in a cute, nervous way, Shelby had amended after seeing Toni wipe her hands on her thighs) and even when they were just holding hands or hugging or leaning against each other, his touch was always too harsh. It was heavy. Weighing on Shelby’s shoulders and pushing her toward the ground. 

Although this guy clearly didn’t affect Shelby anymore, and she had moved onward and upward from his smothering embrace, Toni could tell that it used to be hard. Forcing yourself to be with someone who wasn’t good for you always was. 

So Toni just said that she was happy Shelby was happier now. That a guy like that didn’t deserve someone like her. That Shelby deserved everything. 

Sure, maybe that was a lot to say so soon, but it came out easy, like the words had been waiting to be spoken. Waiting on the tip of Toni’s tongue for the day she met this girl with the green eyes and easy smile and golden skin and honey hair. 

And then, according to Shelby (whose cheeks were pink once more), it was only fair that Toni also disclose the ugly details of one of her high school relationships. 

“C’mon,” Shelby laughed, nudging Toni’s shoulder. “I showed you mine, now it’s your turn.”

Toni didn’t miss the innuendo and surely Shelby didn’t miss the undeniable heat in her cheeks this time. “Okay, fine. I really only had one real relationship in high school. Her name was Regan.”

“Her?” Shelby asked. 

The question made Toni want to stiffen, to close off, but nothing in Shelby’s demeanor had changed. Was she just clarifying? Or was it possible that she had a problem with Toni being gay?

“Oh, um, yeah. She. Her. Girl.” Toni shifted in her chair, waiting to see if everything they had built over the course of the night was about to come crashing down. 

But Shelby just smiled soft and sweet and suddenly shy. “I thought maybe you were, but I just--I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t wanna assume because I know that can be annoying. And like, I get frustrated sometimes when people assume the opposite of me, I guess.”

Hm? 

Toni tilted her head, working through the words.

Shelby smirked, eyebrows raised.

Oh. Oh, wait.  _ Oh _ . 

“You’re--You are also?” Toni would’ve been mad at her own lack of eloquence and the fact that she had forgotten the word  _ gay _ , but in truth she was sort of impressed that she got any words out at all.

“Yeah. I mean, I was kinda hoping you would pick up on it, what with the way I’ve been trying to flirt with you all night. But this is okay too.”

Again, Toni was dumbstruck. Flirt? “With me?”

Shelby held back a smile. “Yeah. With you. Is that okay?”

Finally getting it together a little, despite her rapidly beating heart and the smile on her face that she couldn’t hold back, Toni replied, “Better than okay. Much better than.”

“Alrighty, then,” Shelby said, clapping her hands together. “Now that that’s settled, please, continue.” 

And apparently, it was that easy. 

So Toni obliged, tucking one of her legs underneath herself on the chair so that she could turn more fully towards Shelby. She was slightly emboldened by the fact that this girl, who she had only met because of this random storm, was somehow into her. 

With all the scars that marred her body and the roughness of her voice and the guarded tendencies that were, to this day, still hard to shake. Shelby had broken through. With what seemed like just the gentlest of touches. Shelby was in. 

It wasn’t so hard for Toni to open the door further. 

“Regan was nice. Too nice for me back then, y’know? I had never felt the kind of love that she gave to me, and she gave it so willingly too. It was hard to feel like I deserved it. I tried my best, I think, but my best wasn’t very good. I didn’t think I was enough for her, I-I thought she deserved better, I was terrified of messing up. I didn’t want her to feel any kind of hurt.” Toni let the words fall from her mouth without a filter. Shelby was looking at her so closely, but so tenderly, Toni knew she didn’t have to watch what she said. She didn’t have to be afraid. 

She could just be. Herself. Good. Better. Enough. It was all there in Shelby’s eyes. 

Toni continued, “I didn’t know what love was. Or, I knew in the sense that I could  _ feel _ it, but I didn’t know how to express it. My whole life, all I had wanted was protection from all the things I couldn’t control, so that’s what I thought Regan would want too.”

Shelby just nodded along, letting Toni know she was listening. Present.

Apparently Toni had begun to twist her fingers together while she spoke, but she didn’t notice until Shelby placed one of her own over Toni’s in her lap. She didn’t move it, really, just put a comforting pressure there. A reminder that whatever had happened in the past was in the past. They were here now. 

Somehow, something had thrown them together. And it was new and fast in a way neither of them really understood.

But it felt real and good, so what did it matter? 

“There was this one night, we went to the movies. I had used a big chunk of my paycheck to take her, and we were having a great time. It felt like we were getting a taste of what everyone else had, y’know? A normal couple on a normal date.”

Toni swallowed hard. It had all happened so long ago, and it didn’t really hurt anymore, but it wasn’t the first time something like that had happened and it wouldn’t be the last either. 

“What happened, Toni?” Shelby asked, voice soft, her hand on top of Toni’s even softer.

“There were these guys in the parking lot. They started harassing us a bit, and Regan kept telling me to ignore them, and I wanted to. I just wanted to leave. But one of ‘em got real close to her, and I lost my shit. Like I said, my temper was kind of out of control back then,” and Toni released a breath that was meant to be a laugh but lacked any trace of humor. 

“I lunged at the guy, but I didn’t stand a chance being so outnumbered. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from swinging and kicking, and I didn’t see Regan come over to pull me away, and I accidentally knocked her in the face. Split her lip right open. It’s probably one of the worst things I’ve ever done. And I’ve done some real shit.”

Toni wasn’t quite sure why all of this was coming out. She had changed a lot since then. She had worked hard to be better. To channel her energy into other outlets. Obviously it was still difficult sometimes, but she wasn’t that same angry girl who thought love had to have teeth to be real. 

Still, this felt like a warning. Like she had to tell Shelby now so the girl could decide if this was worth it. 

If Toni was worth the trouble. 

Shelby’s thumb stroked over the knuckles of Toni’s hand. “Well, I know I haven’t known you long, but you seem like you try hard. I can tell by the way you hold yourself, even. You try hard to be good, and that’s more than half the battle, Toni. It’s all you can do, really. And that’s more than enough.”

At Shelby’s words, Toni could feel her eyes beginning to sting, but she blinked the feeling away. She couldn’t cry right now, didn’t want to. Because Shelby was looking at her like she meant something, and  _ god _ , it felt like freedom. Like relief. 

And it made Toni have to ask. Because there were so many coincidences swirling through the air, so many random happenings and lucky chances tonight. Toni wasn’t usually one for such thoughts, but she figured she was allowed to give in at certain moments. If this wasn’t one of those, she didn’t know what was. 

“Do you believe in fate?” Toni asked to Shelby’s surprise. The question had seemingly come out of nowhere, but at the same time, the night had practically begged it to be aired, to be spoken regardless of jinxes and timing and consequences. The snow falling down outside held whispers of it, and talking with Shelby had only made them louder. Something was right.

There was a storm wreaking havoc just outside the walls of the airport but it felt a world away. Here, in gate 21, it was just Shelby and Toni and something about it just worked. Not a lot of things had ever felt that way to Toni. She wasn’t about to let this one slip away. 

Shelby pulled Toni’s hand into her own lap now, playing with the girl’s fingers while her eyes flicked to random points in the room, thinking. After a beat, her eyes landed on Toni, and she seemed to come up with her answer. “Sometimes. Not all the time. But sometimes. I don’t believe bad things happen for a reason and not necessarily all good things either. But sometimes things fall into place in just a certain way, and whether that’s fate or something else, it works.”

Toni smiled. “I like that. I think I agree with you.”

“Any particular reason why you ask?” Shelby tilted her head, holding a cheeky smile on her lips.

And Toni just shrugged, not sure if she’d be able to put it into words and having a feeling that Shelby understood without the verbalization. It wasn’t quite unspoken, but Toni had faced enough bad things in her life to know when something good was right in front of her. 

After that, they moved to the floor, tucked into the corner by the window. The glass was cold against Toni’s side but Shelby was warm enough for it to not matter at all, her body pressed against Toni’s from leg to hip to shoulder. 

They continued talking and all the while, Shelby still held Toni’s hand, rubbing her fingertips along the callouses and scars absentmindedly. The touch rang through Toni’s entire body in response, a different kind of warmth settling somewhere in her core and in her chest. 

Toni couldn’t stop watching the way Shelby’s fingers played over her own, long and careful and sure. She couldn’t stop from wondering how they would feel elsewhere, if they would be as teasing, as warm and reassuring. If they would know where to press in harder, where to pull back, where to skim with a light brush, bringing goosebumps to Toni’s bare skin. 

If they would be able to sense just the right moment to slide down Toni’s body, underneath the waistband of her underwear and  _ through  _ her, feeling just how worked up she was, just from Shelby’s touch. 

Would Shelby gasp at how wet Toni was? Would she bring those fingers up to her lips for a taste, before returning them to the place Toni needed them most?

Or would she make Toni beg for it? Slipping through her slick over and over and over until Toni had to give in, to whimper,  _ please _ . 

Then, would Shelby give Toni what she needed? Would she bring those long fingers down further and finally,  _ finally  _ slip inside–

“Toni? Did you hear me?” Shelby asked, effectively tearing Toni from her daydreams. 

“Sorry. Um. No, I didn’t hear you. I spaced out for a minute,” Toni said, hoping Shelby wouldn’t notice the flush creeping up her neck and the blown look in her eyes.

But if the way Shelby’s lips curled at the corner was anything to go by, well, Toni had been caught. Luckily, Shelby spared her, aside from the knowing, and heated, look in her eyes. “I was wondering what you do and where you’re from and stuff,” Shelby said, laughing. “I realized we’ve kinda been doing this a little backwards. Not that I mind.”

Toni had to agree. It might’ve been a little odd to start with all the things that got them to where they are now rather than the basics, but it didn’t matter. In some way, it almost made more sense. Like, what were the chances of Toni meeting Shelby here? Of easy conversation and effortless connection? What were the chances of anyone finding that with anyone else?

“I’m a gardener,” Toni said. “I studied botany in college, kind of because I didn’t know what else to do, and also because I figured being around plants is a little easier than being around people.” 

Shelby’s eyes lit up. “Oh yeah? That’s so cool, and, I don’t know. Fitting, I think. I can picture you gettin’ down in the dirt, nursing things to life, caring for them just right.” Shelby didn’t have a clue how much the words meant to Toni. 

Toni, who always felt like she was only capable of the opposite. Of destruction. 

“Where’d you go to college, then?” Shelby asked.

“San Francisco. To be honest, I mostly just chose it because I figured it had to be a lot more accepting than back-country Minnesota,” Toni half-joked, but Shelby didn’t laugh along. Her eyes just widened as she gripped Toni’s hand tighter.

“Wait, is that where you live now? San Francisco?”

“Yeah,” Toni answered slowly, confused. “Why?”

Shelby’s mouth dropped open in a wordless gasp. 

“What?” Toni asked. “Are you okay?”

“No fuckin’ way,” Shelby said, almost to herself. “I mean. What are the chances? You gotta tell me more about the stars because I think they might be up to something after all.”

“What are you talking about?” Toni asked, mostly just amused by the beautiful girl before her.

Shelby brought Toni’s fingers to her lips, as if wanting her to actually  _ feel _ the words coming out. To believe them. “I’m moving out there. To San Francisco. For grad school. I start in the spring.”

“Are you serious?” It was all Toni could say. 

“I’m serious.” 

And the girls just beamed at each other. Because, really. What were the chances? 

“Jesus. This is crazy, right?” Toni asked. “Like too good to be true?”

Shelby just shook her head. “Y’know, I’ve never been into that saying. I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“How what works?”

“Everything. The universe. The good things in life, the best things, are true. And real.”

Toni couldn’t help but stare, mouth open, breaths coming fast enough to be audible. She wanted to kiss Shelby. She wanted more. She wanted everything. This girl, with green eyes and a smile more beautiful than a sunset and hands that knew how to touch Toni the way she had been waiting for her entire life, she was real. And she was here. And it was all just working. 

Whether it was fate or something else, it didn’t matter, Shelby was right about that too. Because it was working. It was right here, right in front of them. That was all. 

That was all.

Toni looked down at her watch quickly before moving her hand from Shelby’s lips to her jaw, fingers tangling into her soft hair, thumb stroking over her cheek. Breathlessly, Toni said, “It’s 11:57. I don’t want to wait. I don’t even know if I can. But I will, if you want to try that whole midnight thing out.” 

Shelby just smiled and leaned into Toni’s touch. “Why wait?”

Toni smiled back. “Why wait.” 

Their lips crashed together with force, eagerness and tension colliding into something that couldn’t be stopped, couldn’t be held off a moment longer. 

Toni enclosed Shelby’s bottom lip between both of her own, while her hands cradled Shelby’s face gently, with a soft touch she didn’t even know she had, reserved for no one until now, and reserved for Shelby from now on. 

Shelby moaned into the kiss, her mouth hot against Toni’s, tongue licking into Toni’s mouth and making her gasp. A fire burned in Toni’s stomach in response, aching for things not suitable for the dirty floor of an airport gate. Things that would have to wait until they could get out of here, back to Shelby’s apartment, where Toni would end up for the next few days, though she didn’t know it quite yet.

Toni slowed the kiss down, then. Because even though she didn’t really know  _ when _ they would get the chance for more, she knew they would. She could feel it, like nothing she had ever felt before. A sense of calm, settling deep under her skin, into the places that had learned not to want for things. That had learned wanting meant being let down over and over until it was easier to not feel at all. 

But now. Those parts of Toni opened up all at once and Shelby’s light and touch and care flooded in with ease, warming Toni to the possibility of something good. Of something that would last. It warmed her entire body, every fiber of her being soothed, protected, held. 

It felt something like home. 

And yeah, they didn’t wait for midnight. But when everything lined up in just such a way, you had to take that jump. A leap of faith. And they kissed through to the New Year regardless, lips pressing against each other without a care for the passage of time. 

All that mattered was here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well there it is! another shoni two-shot! I've got more in the works so stay on the lookout for that!
> 
> thanks so much for reading and as always, please let me know what you liked and leave prompt ideas if you want!
> 
> much love and peace out, i gotta do some homework (or maybe just start on the next shoni fic, who knows really) <3

**Author's Note:**

> hi again everyone! once again i was overcome by these characters and couldn't stop myself from writing this out. For anyone who read my other works and liked or commented, thank you so much!! you inspire me to continue writing and this wouldn't have happened without you all
> 
> as always, let me know what you liked! decided to split this into two because i've been busier with school lately and still need to finish it up, but most of the second chapter is already written and should be posted tomorrow or this weekend! much love


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